THE FATTENING HUT

THIS LITTLE GIRL gets two heaping meals a day, dry mixed with wet food, plus treats and still her ribs show and her hip bones gouge. You would think I am a terrible pet owner if you saw her up close. She turned one this month on the 5th. Technically she is still a puppy. Lets srsly get her on a hampster wheel though, the amount of energy she has could power New York for a month alone and I think this is the problem. She could run around FAST for 6 hours straight without stopping...not kidding you. I have searched the isles up and down for higher calorie dog food with higher quality ingredients for better absorbancy, found one at the vets office - Royal Canin, OMG it glistens with the "good" fat, best dog food ever! But at $50 a bag I was back to mapping isles in Walmart. I have dissected her POOP, yes I said poop, looking for worms and unless she has one big fat tapeworm in there she is clean.
SO I REMEMBERED reading about the fattening huts of the Hima tribe of Uganda, creating heartyer brides by keeping them in a hut making them consume gallons of whole milk then periodically checking them for signs of weight gain, i.e. stretch marks. I disagree with this tradition/ritual making marriage less about love and more about the prosperity of a brides father and her groom (yes, I realize I am divorced). Comparing her to fattened cattle and their value over mal-nourished bovine and what that says to society about the owner, I mean husband. I get it though, I realize in a country of poverty, signs of a full "cubbord" is a great thing, but I stand firm in my little bit that marriage should be about something other than male societal progression and objectifying a bride counting her as nothing more than a dowry.
NOW HAVING SAID that, I will proceed to try not to make a mochery of my own argument by adopting this idea for my dog. She is after all an animal...like the cattle...they should stick to animals. ANYWHO, Bristol is beefing up after restricting (staying in her hut) her activity just a little and by giving her a cup or two more of food a day. Thank you men of the Hima tribe of Uganda. I owe you one. Would one hereford calf be enough?